My candidate won - he'll be going to the U.S. House of Representatives. I'm proud of the work we've done to give him the chance to represent this district. My parting gift to St Louis. I'm not overly enthused because of the presidential election, but I'm trying to focus on personal accopmplishments and my upcoming move. I'll be in the District of Columbia next week, looking for a job, buliding a new home, dating a new man. I've sold my car, reserved a truck, and am anticipating biking through the streets again!

I'm also closing this weblog. I haven't been keeping it updated enough for the past six months. I don't write enough here, and am enjoying keeping my thoughts to my own personal writing. But what a time it's been. I started this blog to have somewhere to write about my feelings while sitting bored at work in the Air Force. It became a large part of me, a source of pride, of writing examples. I've exchanged good words with a goodly amount of people. Mostly, though, I've opened myself more than I ever thought possible. i feel powerful, strong enough to state my opinions, strong enough to understand my feelings. I'm anxious to move, to make choices I was denied while in the military. I still have parts to open, parts i won't reveal here or now. But I'm working on those, too, growing and expanding all the time. my eyes, my arms, my head, my heart, open to possibility, to the great perhaps.

It's misty in the central west end district of St Louis tonight. I love the way the trees and the houses drip at night in the fuzzy street light. I love the way my mind drifts after having too much to do for too long. This last weekend though, I gained more than I could have expected, walking in poor, mostly African-American neighborhoods, encouraging people to vote. I felt accepted, surprisingly enough. They were excited to vote, many of them had already voted when i talked to them on Tuesday. We felt powerful together, and maybe that's what being an American is all about (African or European). i never think of myself as an American; i'd much rather wear a flag upside down or half burnt in recognition of the suffering we've caused. But I can't discount the marvels we have here. I learned more about our greatness this past month than I have in my whole life.

I left the Air Force Academy in 1998 with a string of quotes in my head and printed underneath my picture in the yearbook. Only a few words were of my own making, thankful for help in finding my napkin. The string of words that follow me now are mine, and i am thankful for the help in finding my voice. And I have so many more napkins.