words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Monday, September 23, 2002
2002-08-14 - 9:56 a.m.
i don't put people first, do it? i make friends with cities, parks, and hobbies, spending all my time doing things like that instead of making friends, or becoming closer to the friends i already have. in fact, i have a hard time justifying just sitting around with people, unless i really really like them. i'm not sure that's right. i know why i do this. in high school, i had some close friends. i've always been a one-friend guy. i would find one friend and cling to him or her, spending most of my time and thoughts on that one person. when that one person wasn't around, i was at a loss for what to do. when i left for the academy, i never found one person to be friends with. not until James came along my junior year. so i had really nobody until him. then it changed to kat and/or gina when James didnt' come around anymore. the two of them fought for my attention, almost literally. and then i graduated, and left everyone behind again. for another two years almost, i have few frines. that changes a lot things in your head, when you feel so isolated. now that i'm trying to move back into the realms of friends, it's more difficult. i lost my best friend by moving. now i'm trying to develop that again with michael, but he's gone for three months. no wonder i don't put stock in people. i keep moving around and leaving them behind. they're not reliable. nor are they always available. a city like san francisco or new orleans is much easier. but i want to have people more involved in my life. of course, i also push t hem out some, am unwilling to give in when they want to do this or that. and i have to make the friends, since i don't have them around where i work. that's probably another huge factor in this problem. i don't see my friends daily since i refuse to make them at work. so it's all forced, we have to plan times to get together, unlike the easy ones in high school and college when they were there, down the hall, or in a class with me. (elvis' lips remind me of a gay man's lips. hmmm)
well, not much i can do about it now except to try to pay more attention to people, don't think i'm too good to spend time with people, and maybe try to like them more, even though i really really want more artistic friends right now. hard to find
8:59 PM
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