words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Tuesday, September 24, 2002
this song, oh this song. i dont' even know the title or the group. shame on me, i almost always know that kind of stuff. but it's just been too overwhelming listening to the song to actually find out the name of it. the movie Living Out Loud carried it. The main character, this divorcee, learns to wake up out of her sleeping life, and towards the end, maybe at the very end of the movie, she's at a mixed/lesbian bar, dancing with some hot women, letting go completely for maybe the first time since she was a kid. and this song, sounds like four women, singing "if you want me, show it; if you love me, prove it , etc" with such a feeling that you know you have to re-learn how to be yourself, how to live life with passion and energy and love exuding from every part of you, that you have to focus your life and do what you know you should have always done. and I know it's what I'm doing now, and I know that this is why I've been so giddy the past two days. that having made that decision on Sunday, even though I haven't taken one step towards it, I know it's the right decision, and my soul knows it's the right decision, so it's laughing off the fear, leaving with me all my confidence to be myself, stronger than i have felt in a long time. and yes, that song is right behind me, with many people who will support me no matter what the rest of humanity says. yes, breathe, breathe because sometimes i hold my breath for too long in the suspense of trying to get all of this out, because it excites me so and energizes me, that i think i can do anything, and i will do anything, but most of all, i will do what i know I have to do. not what my mother wants me to do, or my father. Not what my boss wants me to do, or any friends, any foreign powers. This is something that I need to do, and I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt.
9:57 PM
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