words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Monday, November 11, 2002
I spilled it. I opened my mouth yesterday and I talked like I have never talked before. I spoke at a Veteran's For Peace rally here in St Louis. I was so proud of myself-I told my story, the audience responded to me, I felt like I had said something important. And then the tv crews wanted to talk to me. I told the first crew no, I don't want to talk, don't need my voice to be heard so loudly. But somehow, after enough questions, I started answering them, now to two different crews plus a radio man. I don't know why, but it felt good for them to be so inquisitive, to ask me all about what I was doing. It felt good to just talk about it, because I have hardly talked about this to anyone. Maybe for the first time in my life i did what I wanted to do without hardly considering the consequences. Is that good? In some ways, yes, it was good becuase it showed that I could talk, that I had something to say. But what about my life and the consequences? oh, oh, oh. i don't know what's going to happen, but it's going to be a whirlwind at work when I go in tomorrow. i'm scared like a basic trainee, having no idea what's going to happen. yes, I have a lawyer, but she doesn't know all of it, so many things could happen now. but they're not going to beat me, are they? nothing I said was prison material. I just didn't need to be so loud. Who knew I could be so loud? I think I lost a few pounds yesterday from not eating and worrying.
I look forward to when I can laugh about this and say, wasn't I brave? wasn't I showing strength I wasn't even aware of? And oh, wasn't I nervous? I hope I'm brave, and not just a fool.
write me, tell me you love me, i could use it now more than ever.
9:58 AM
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