words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Wednesday, January 22, 2003
I alternate between being shy and being a show-off. I have always been a bit shy, but then, there are parts of my life that I'm very proud of, and want to show. For too long, it's been my chest. It's still nice, but i'm finally crafting a part of my life that is a bit more important. I want to show off that I am a conscientious objector, proud of what I'm standing up for. There have also been times when I've been proud to be gay, to hold a guy's hand in the street. Actually, that's most of the time, but I haven't had a chance to do that since I'm not dating anyone and probably won't for some time. I am actively not looking, knowing that I'm digging too deeply into myself to support someone else, knowing that I'm probably moving in the next six months, knowing that I really need to spend time developing friends, not another lover I'll eventually want to run from. I guess I can be both shy and a show-off, vary between the extremes, choose my behavior based on my surroundings and my mood. Maybe this is growing up, knowing that we don't have to solidify, knowing that we can be ourselves, whatever that means. If so, I still have a long way to go, a long way before I learn how to be myself. Imagine how different we would all be if we were all our own individuals. We'd have to write a whole new language of emotions, well beyond shy and show-off. We are like Walt Whitman who said, "I am large; I contain multitudes."
11:12 AM
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