words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Sunday, January 26, 2003
If today were my last day; if I knew there would be no tomorrow and I would have to make do with now, I would probably go for a long walk around here. I could spend hours writing to you and you about how much you meant to me, and what I wish for you, but I couldn't actually say what the hours you and I spent together meant and did for me. So I would probably go for a long walk through the neighborhood I live in, the one I walk around all the time, enjoying the steady red brick and the old french feel. I would wear plenty of clothes (I wouldn't want to be cold on my last night), and I would sing a few songs out loud, stopping when i thought i was off key, to try again. i would probably forget some of the words. I don't expect the phone would ring; it doesn't usually, and although I often wish more people would call, I would revel in the peace of being outside and walking alone. I would find a bridge (there are many where I live, bridges that cover the rivers of cars passing by underneath, cars going too quickly for their own good, like mine usually does) and walk over it, stop around the middle to watch and feel the cars, to view the city as if I am just an observer, alrady out of this world, unable to participate, but loving to watch. I would watch the steam rise, one of the few of us able to leave gravity in the earth. I would look for the moon, what few stars shine over the city's lights. I could read some poems or play some music, but the best art, the art I have seen or made, is already inside me, or passing through my head so slowly that I have to stop and match its speed so i can understand. Oh, I would miss seeing the moutnains again and the rush of laughter after eating some raisins while cycling (that seems so far again already), but mostly, i would let go fairly easily, full of strange faith that having survived here, I will also survive somewhere else, whether that be nothing or some unimaginable existence. I would probably walk around for a while, and then maybe heat up some water for tea, or chocolate.
1:48 PM
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