words, words, words
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Monday, February 10, 2003
I've had recent bouts with both bitterness and jealousy who have become my worst enemies. Working on what's going on inside me, thinking with such angst, why haven't i done this before? What use is it to do it now? Does any of this matter - if i couldn't conquer it before, what makes me think I can now? When I look at other people especially, I think, wow, they look like they know how to love themselves and others. Look at that young couple; they seem so happy in their world. they learned how to care about other people at 16. what's wrong with me? why couldn't i have had a significant other when i was in high school? Ok, so i know i did try to date girls some in high school, but found them unattractive. I never really looked at the guys much, and i certainly didnt' know any gay boys. but what if? self-defeating jealousy of what others have today. the bitterness of having to swallow my own life, take what i have, no more and no less, and use it to become better. If I give in to these notions, I'll never learn. The wish for something better in my past will overwhelm me, the lack of my own faith will crush my hopes.
My worst enemies are already inside me. They don't lie in our leaders, other countries, my upstairs neighbor, or even in the fates of the world. they're right here, along with my best friends. Nobody can love me unless I love myself, right? Nobody can finish this except for myself. When did I become so important? right now. I have to accept my own importance, not with the satisfaction of pride, but with the understanding of humility. I can never take care of others, i can never be what and who I should be if i don't get myself right first.
2:21 PM
|
|
| |
|
|
|
