words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Friday, April 18, 2003
I have avoided the subject of the sexual harrassment and rape charges at the US Air Force Academy because I largely didn't know what to say. i didnt' see anything of the sort when I was a cadet, and I never heard complaints from women there. Of course, I was also oblivious, and it's very possible that I didn't see what was under my nose. i know that sexual assault is a serious issue, but I also know that female cadets have a bad reputation for not taking it seriously and using it to their advantage. Anybody remember Kelly Flynn? She claimed that all women at the Academy are sexually promiscuous. yeah, um, sure. The scary thing is if the current problems are real, and what in the world can the air force do about it? Salon.com reported an excellent article on the issue, reminding me of many bothersome problems that have always existed, like wanton abuse of power. i don't know if people can see the site since I'm pretty sure it's a pay site.
As I'm about to step out the air force door, I've been reflecting a lot, what it was like when I came in, how the conscientious objection process started, all kinds of memories to face. says the article, the USAFA training "approach has been to overwhelm the cadet with so much stress, from so many different angles, that he or she cannot possibly overcome them individually. 'They artificially create crises to make people work together.' " (Why, after so many years, is it still good to have an outsider remind me of how difficult that place was? Because in my memory, I have tried to say that my feelings aren't really valid, that it wasn't that bad of a place? Or because I just dont' want to remember at all?) Also, this approach creates problems for those of us who don't conform well. 'military doctrine since World War II holds that men and women in battle do not fight to stay alive -- they fight to keep their comrades alive -- the concepts of "unit cohesion" and "esprit de corps" take on religious significance to combat commanders.' " So when I'm a cadet and I listen to strange music and say strange things; when I am not interested in their fun, I'm considered against the group and almost disloyal. Is this the same thing that's happening with all the United We Stand bumper stickers? because a large portion of the country feels threatened, they want to draw in together with like minded people. When they see peace activists advocating a different way, instead of listening, they accuse them of disloyalty because of their immense fear.
"'When a freshman wants to leave his room just to go to the bathroom, he puts himself at risk,' an academy professor said. Lurking around any corner lies a potential upperclassman with the power to stop him, haze him, berate him, drop him for pushups and issue demerits. 'It's a high-anxiety situation,' the professor said."
Yes, that's true, even if it may sound surprising. how do you live in an environment like that? you get by with what you can; you eat ramen noodles from the hot water you can get from your sink because you aren't allowed to have a hot pot or use the microwave. You sing each other songs because you're not allowed to have music. you get used to it, but when you go away for a vacation, you quickly lose that perspective, and returning to the academy causes massive stomach aches and nervousness.
What happens though, is that cadets have the power over you, and when you become an upperclassman, you have power over the lower cadets. Yes, young people having complete power over younger people. Of course there's abuse of power, constantly. There are limits that we have to abide by, but things happen all the time that shouldn't. The Academy's system broke my belief in authority because I saw my friends, people that I had struggled with against the authority, turn into horrible examples themselves.
"'Any sophomore who's pissed off for any reason can just shit on a doolie just because he can,' said a high-ranking military professor at the academy. And sophomores, fresh and bitter from their own relentless year of hazing, tend to be anxious to dish it back out to the next class most viciously.
'It's a tremendous amount of power for a 19-year-old to hold over an 18-year-old,' the professor said. Even cadets are daunted by the power they wield. 'Last summer I was a colonel in the academy,' said senior Andy Allen. 'I had power over 2,000 people. Despite that, I was 21 years old.' "
With this atmosphere, who is surprised that sexual assault happens? That it goes unreported because people are trying to remain true to their friends, that people lose their trust in everyone around them because everyone is a possible enemy who can weild strange power over you. My roommate for a semester was confined to his room for every weekend because he had one beer underage away from the campus, on an academy trip, during off-duty hours. a girl who disliked him turned him in to the Academy.
They're trying to change things there, take away some of the power from the cadets and give it to officers, which will help revenge fests and such. Will it be enough? i don't have any idea. I'm worried that it will cause more frustration with the cadets who already have to deal with constantly changing rules. And of course, they are the ones who are ultimately punished by any of these changes. the Secretary of the AF has already blamed the cadets, instead of the leadership, for allowing all this to happen. It's never a nice day to be a cadet.
2:33 PM
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