words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Friday, May 30, 2003
Most advice columns berate or batter those who write in, or somehow try to judge them and tell them how they should behave instead of how they are behaving. I never would have expected to have read such a beautiful and understanding response to a difficult questoin as i found in today's Since You Asked column written by Cary Tennis. i don't know if you can read it because of salon.com's fee, so i will quote the last paragraph and hope it makes sense.
"That doesn't mean you do a cost-benefit analysis and find someone new. Not if you're no longer a player. You stick around. You stick around and try to help. You cradle her head on your knees, you pick up her prescriptions, you get her to the doctor every Tuesday. That other stuff you were doing, that was a game; that's why they call it playing. This is real life, real love, where even if you start losing, you don't just walk away from the table. "
This answer could refer to most any problem a person has with his or her spouse. and it may be the true answer to committment, how people actually stay together, even when they disagree. what befuddles me, is how do you make that choice? do you simply wait until you fall in love with someone and then say, yes, i will love you for the rest of my life, and i will care for you as much as i can, even if i know that there might be better people out there? or is committment based on the hope that you might actually find someone you can love forever? I loved a man once, and i wanted everything to be perfect, wanted to love every part of him for as long as possible. but i did a horrible job, and though i still care for him immensely, i wonder what I was thinking then. at the same time, i know what I was thinking then and know why he was so wonderful for me and why he's still a part of my life.
if i were to commit myself to someone, is it just until the feeling runs out, or do i stick around forever, until one of us dies? these questions are too large. and i don't expect to find answers soon, if ever. but there has to be some point at which i am willing to commit, doesn't there?
3:21 PM
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