words, words, words
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
How much of our parents do we become? how much of their influence can we shed; what parts trap us? how do we stand up to years of lies and pretense? no, no, i don't like to tell stories about other people. that's their business, and i'm not interested in sharing gossip. but me, yes, i'll tell about me, i'll tell about how i realize every day things i learned from them that i shouldn't have, forgetting all too easily those good lessons i picked up and pride myself for. i'll tell how i can't make sense of it yet, can't talk to them as if they are humans, can't hardly stand up after the subservience they demanded out of me. As much as i want them to help me let go of so many problems, I know this is my responsibility, and I can't expect them to even understand what's going on. few people can see themselves well enough to know how they might have affected someone else. i know I am miserable at seeing myself. but how? how do i see so well into myself, how do i gather up this courage that i have lacked for such a long time? or is this just a case of moving, because i have to, not because i know how to do it? yes, i think that's it. i will have to gain the knowledge by the experience. no preparation, no test, just learning by doing. and realizing that my parents are people too. full of mistakes and talents, full of awareness and blindness. i can't hate them for the problems they created in me, but I hope to help them understand and therefore receive their help in forgiveness and understanding of who they are. seems i've been talking about this for a long time, but I feel closer to realizing what I have to do. I have to do, not sit around and wait for them to do. I have to do.
9:30 PM
|
|
| |
|
|
|
