words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Saturday, November 01, 2003
Soldiers have the closest sight to war. They don't read the paper to find out what the enemy might be doing; they see it from their tents, marching in front of them and sneaking behind them. Most of them have an incredible faith in their leaders, in the job they are doing, and in the abilities of the other soldiers around them. A group with positive morale can withstand the harshest conditions, keep each other motivated to wake up each day. Disasters occur though when the soldiers look around them to find desperation. Desperation in the enemy who is willing to kill himself for a small tactical gain, desperation in the soldiers around them who no longer want to live.
The Pentagon recently admitted troop suicide is triple the normal rate, and are investigating another dozen possible suicides. One soldier in particular was not shy about his death; he killed himself immediately after talking to friends or family back in the US, in front of the line waiting to use the telephone.
Bush says troop morale is good. Suicide, although far too common in a peacetime , rips morale in half, reminds people how difficult their situation is, disassembles trust in those around you, shakes every confidence soldiers have in their fight. When the army is sending mental health professionals to Iraq to examine the increasing problem, morale is nowhere near good. When soldiers hear their leader proclaiming the lie that their morale is good, it lowers morale even more, forces them to realize the distance between them and their leaders and question the judgement of the men who put them in their position.
I remember a suicide attempt on my base in Sacramento. it's amazing how many people it effects. it's not just the people who knew the guy, it's everyone on base who finds out, which is mostly everyone. who knows why, the guy could have had family troubles, an affair out of hand, fiscal problems, anything, but it shakes you up, makes you wonder what people are thinking around you, makes you reliaze how much stress is on the people you work with. to think of that kind of an experience in an already stressful war environment, what can that do to people? what do we say to the twenty-year old man's parents, the man who killed himself in front of the telephone line? how do we tell them that he didnt' want to handle the situation we put him in? I want to put my own spin on this of course, i want to say I know why he did it. but i don't, even if i can imagine that so much around him threatened him to the point that his only friend was his weapon. why do we give the most horrible jobs to the youngest, the ones that handle it the worst? why are we willing to lose these people, even if they are willing to lose themselves?
8:35 PM
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