words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Friday, December 05, 2003
Christmas letter to family, second installation:
I miss you though, and I love you. My memories are vague of good times when i was younger, but I miss those times nonetheless. I was blind then, to a lot of things, and i didn't mind. I won't go back to that, and i don't know how to face all of you with my new vision. i wish i had more strength to love you though. Christmas is difficult now, without a family to back me up, to go to to celebrate the day. I know, I have made a few makeshift families along the way, and they have been wonderful for me. I still hope for the future though, that some day we can spend holidays together, and I won't close my eyes and close my mouth to be around you. I don't want to live my life just to irk you, to insist i am different and better. I want to live my life and not be ashamed of it when I am around you, to love you whether you disapprove or not. christmas was about sharing time and love together then. I don't know what it is about now, and i find myself hesitant to give out the love I should, afraid it will hurt me again. but I still hope i can do it, hope i can be so loving as to forgive the wrongs you have done me, to overlook our differences, and hope you can forgive me for wanting revenge against you, of thinking that I am better than you, of not being myself at all times, not giving you the benefit of the doubt, and letting you grow into it. merry Christmas, and hope for next year.
11:13 PM
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