words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Sunday, December 28, 2003
I am not one of them. and mostly never wanted to be one of them. one of those fabulous people who attract and reflect drama in their lives, who wear each other's fashions, who look so cute. i always wanted to be different, and i succeeded, so much that i sometimes have felt a bit of an outcast. well, it was my doing, so i can't complain. I took many hard routes in my life, and i look with jealousy at others' lives which seem so easy and fruitful. i have learned much i know, and i am about fifty years old, although not quite thirty. which is why i so rarely get along well with people. i am a hundred contradictions, and too many just stare in awe. i like that, i am more of an individual than most anyone i know. but i am scared at times, to be so different. i know that we are all the same, essentially, have the same spirit, the same blood through our veins. but it's hard to accept and love the differences, too. i can't change now, can't mold into one of them. i'm just too weird, even when i'm trying to be normal. i'll be proud of that, when i am actually fifty, although i will still wonder what it would have been like to have gone to a real college, to have just existed. our choices are both positive and negative. although we choose one thing, we deny another, we cannot do them all. but believe me, i have done a lot, and my life is more interesting than i can sometimes handle.
soul searching at the end of the year. and man, what a year. who am i again?
6:21 PM
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