words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Sunday, January 11, 2004
I've always had something to look forward to, some life-changing event, some exciting future. getting to high school, graduating from high school, graduating from college, leaving the Air Force. what now? I'm no longer competing in triathlons; I'm not studying; I'm not sure enough about my future to say I'm leaving St Louis soon or to know what I'm going to start doing. do I need something to look forward to? isn't there something more wonderful to simply enjoying exactly what I have now? I was trying to do that while in the Air Force, and strangely, now that I don't have to work as hard at being happy, I dont' feel quite as happy. Perhaps for the past year, I felt like i was doing something, standing up to the giant, making a place for myself. now, am i just hiding, or am i resting?
or perhaps I'm dramatizing my situation. What I need to get used to is that I probably won't have big things to look forward to, even if I start graduate school, finishing those studies won't be much more than a feeling of accomplishment. so this is new, and it's taking me a while to adjust. I need to remember how to observe around me, see what's going on, feel what's in me, and enjoy the examination of it, not expecting major discoveries and yet aware that i can learn so much.
4:00 PM
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