words, words, words










 
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If you'd like to volunteer for the Russ Carnahan campaign for U.S. Congress Please give our offices a call at 534-2004 or email me at stephen@russcarnahan.org

biologic show
secret kings
waremouse
cucalambe
chrisafer
dogpoet
brent
salon
jeff
cho
rob



places to visit:
Center for Theology and Social Analysis
Lynda Barry
astralwerks
Sherman's Lagoon




Another place I write:
Queerday




relevant pasts:
fear of sunrise
manboylove
peaceful
soup
objection
who are you?
birthday
one year










 
If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?



P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.





raisin@gmail.com



albums:

Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out


songs:

Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork







many napkins
 
Monday, February 16, 2004  
Go! go get married while we have the chance! I can't believe it's happening, i think it shocks all of us, but civil disobedience can be a wonderful thing. amazing what a few people in power can do to liberate or to bind so many of us.


I've been thinking and writing about relationships quite a bit recently, not sure what's going on in my own life, not sure what I want or need or even can find. I love the connections I find in other people, and it feels so good to find more and more of those. my years in the air force separated me from too many people who were similar to me, and i lived in isolation, afraid i was just strange. but we all go through times like that, when everyone around us seems alike, and we're the ugly thumb. we're all nowhere, right in the middle of our own isolation, sometimes self-created by our own blindness. No matter what though, we find people, we find encouragement from unlikely people, even from ourselves to be who we are, even to be better than who we have been. None of our lives will be allright - we will all suffer, some of us quite a bit more than others, and yet, we all feel that suffering. it's only the connections that make life worth living, the beauty of understanding another person. i don't know if that means a relationship or friendship, or something i can't name, but i love, any time i meet someone with similar taste, with similar outlooks, someone who understands parts of me that i hardly understand myself, someone who i understand and want to know more about. Anger and pain tries to stop the hope of finding more of that around us. past experience, loss of trust and faith. it's hope and love that we have to concentrate on, that even the peopel who have hurt us might one day be able to help us, that we might see through our anger into something we can love about them.

Valentine's Day has never meant much to me, but maybe i've been focusing on the wrong thing, searching for one person, when i should have realized all the wonderful people i already had around me, giving them the love and grace i have. If i find someone to fall for, to make plans with, then I hope i'll be open to it. for now, i have to remember what i have, and keep hoping for more.

But see, I can bind or liberate myself as well, in much more powerful ways than our rulers. So i should liberate, and do my best to enjoy it.

4:38 PM

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