words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Friday, March 19, 2004
i used to worry a great deal about strength and weakness. Am I weak if I give in to my parents demands, if I am always a follower at work? Am i strong for coming out, for trying to realize who i am? Would I be stronger if I denied who I am (a central tenet of the Christianity my parents brought me up with), and lived by willpower and not feelings. But great strength can be used for great folly, as I eventually realized denying my sexuality was. i could also have denied my love for my mother and would have gotten nowhere with it. I haven't so much resolved these issues as i have moved away from them, and I feel i'm cheating by not explaining all that here, but i don't have the time, or, honestly, the strength right now. Rediscovering my life according to one theme is something I specialize at, but it takes weeks of thought and writing.
I've noticed though, the Bush crowd has been using a lot of this argument, when it talks about appeasement, the strength of standing against terrorism, hints of weaknesses being enough to cause disaster. But when i think of true strength, I don't think of Maginot Line's that nobody can cross (you can always find a chink in the armor). I think of Mother Theresa, Jesus, and a willingness to work with and understand others. Anyone can build walls, but how many people can let their enemies in, take care of them, try to make friends of them, at the risk of losing their own hearts, at the risk of being mocked by the rest of the world, at the risk of being used? That's the strength I want to have, and I want our nation to have. Such strength erodes the fear our president would prefer us to have.
12:27 PM
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