words, words, words










 
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If you'd like to volunteer for the Russ Carnahan campaign for U.S. Congress Please give our offices a call at 534-2004 or email me at stephen@russcarnahan.org

biologic show
secret kings
waremouse
cucalambe
chrisafer
dogpoet
brent
salon
jeff
cho
rob



places to visit:
Center for Theology and Social Analysis
Lynda Barry
astralwerks
Sherman's Lagoon




Another place I write:
Queerday




relevant pasts:
fear of sunrise
manboylove
peaceful
soup
objection
who are you?
birthday
one year










 
If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?



P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.





raisin@gmail.com



albums:

Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out


songs:

Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork







many napkins
 
Friday, April 16, 2004  
I have to confess my problem with controlling myself too deeply. i learned it from my mother, saving the good things for later, forcing yourself to eat the peas first so you can enjoy the mashed potatoes without the dread of having to eat the peas. but it's also about denial, not letting yourself do the things you love so you can save them for the best of times. it's a bad trait for the most part. i should simply let myself enjoy what i have, right? i'm learning, i can do that with sleep, and, well, maybe that's it. boy, i need some work with denial.

where i really notice it is with my music. because my computer (iTunes) tracks what songs i listen to the most, i can see my top 100 played songs. instead of letting that list grow on its own, and just glance at it, i've started to obsess over it, and have stopped listening to the songs i really like because i don't want t hem to be over-played. i've always done this, but never quite to this extent. on one hand, it's good that it forces me to listen to all of my other music, so i'm hearing more of my collection, but it's sad that i really don't let myself listen to what i want to. of course, when i do, it's that much sweeter, but i don't like how controlling i am. (this is also why i think i would make a terrible parent, just like my mother has). i've started to force myself to listen to the music that i want to - which is so backwards. i have some issues with letting go obviously. and i am working on it, but man, it's tough when i've spent my whole life doing this.

if you're curious, here's how my top 20 shapes up (actually it's gotten a little out of hand because there are several skott freedman songs in there, so i'm proud of myself):

Faithful - Me'Shell NdegeOcello
The District Sleeps Alone Tonight - The Postal Service
Out In Waves - Skott Freedman
Comin' from Where I'm From - Anthony Hamilton
Inner City Blues (Make Me Wanna Holler) - Marvin Gaye
The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Roberta Flack
Anyone Who Had A Heart - Dionne Warwick
The Man Comes Around - Johnny Cash
Obsoléte - MC Solaar
Eye - Smashing Pumpkins
Don't Give Up On Me - Solomon Burke
Mysteries - Beth Gibbons & Rustin' Man
Shine - Depeche Mode
Only When I Lose Myself - Depeche Mode
Confesion - King Chango
No One Will Ever Love You - The Magnetic Fields
Henry Darger - Natalie Merchant
It's a Fire - Portishead
Dominoes - Skott Freedman
Not Enough Ways - Skott Freedman


12:12 AM

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