words, words, words
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If I begin to detail myself here, will you understand?
P. I am me
Q. I don't always know exactly who that is
R. I am Quaker
S. I like words and playing with them
T. I like genmaicha tea
U. I like the word napkin more than most others
V. I spend time walking my neighborhood
W. I cook rice often
X. I sleep well most every night
Y. I eat large amounts of fruit and vegetables
Z. I munch, sleep, write, create, cook, bike, watch, walk, listen, hope, learn, drink, live, breathe, touch, know, question, taste, copy, read, stare, carry, talk, dance, finger, try.
raisin@gmail.com
albums:
Magnetic Fields: 69 Love Songs
Erasure: I Say, I Say, I Say
Depeche Mode: Black Celebration
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Marvin Gaye: What's Going On?
David Bowie: Hunky Dory
George Michael: Listen without Prejudice
George Gershwin: Porgy and Bess
Yo La Tengo: And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside Out
songs:
Wild is the Wind: Nina Simone
Come Undone: Duran Duran
Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini: Rachmaninov
My Funny Valentine: Chet Baker
Feeling Yourself Disintegrate: The Flaming Lips
This Must Be the Place: The Talking Heads
Hyperballad: Bjork
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Monday, April 26, 2004
Last night, I celebrated my one year out of the Air Force, with a dream that I was still waiting to be discharged. I can't say i thought a whole lot about it yesterday - i knew it was the day that i signed out of the base, turned in my i.d. card, and became a civilian after nine years of military life. i remember. yes, it's something worth celebrating, but my mind is too caught up in what i have or haven't done since then. The dream though, reminded me that it's a good in itself that i'm free, that nobody can bring me back into the military, no matter what.
and i have done some things since then. i've relaxed, enjoyed myself, let my hair down, slept a ton, met new friends, made plans for the future, taught myself that i don't need much money at all to survive. the things i enjoy the most don't cost much at all, if anything.
is it enough? i can't describe enough for you. i imagine when i look back at this year i'll marvel that i didn't allow myself to enjoy it as much as i should have. so much of my life has concentrated on disciplining myself, it's hard to break that habit. is success knowing how to live on just a little money? is it reading as many books as you can? is it knowing that as long as you are improving yourself, you're doing a good job?
I don't know. but i know i'm out of the Air Force. I know that I am happy to be free of their rules and restrictions, the fear in my belly of the condescension, the so many things i would just rather not discuss. it can be too difficult at times. i'm free, let me focus on that.
4:15 PM
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